the tamago report

Eggs benedictated

Month: November, 2014

A SHORT STORY ABOUT PATERNAL TOFU.

by MDY

My father turned into tofu at the worst possible time. The Salurae had figured out a way to clone themselves from shoelaces, and they were storming our town under the command of a resurrected George Bush Junior, bullet-hole in the head dripping worms and petrol jelly. We were ready to flee – what else could I have done? But fortunately Pa was able to recombine himself out of the latrine once we were 5 miles from the city. At least it wasn’t my second cousin – her surrogate form is a buffalo liver.

A SHORT STORY ABOUT DYING IN A FIRE.

by MDY

I died in firelight. I told the man in the black cloak that I was Bennie, not Lennie, but he was already squeezing the trigger and who could hear over the rush of napalm? When I returned, I found the flames had flayed away more than my skin. I always enjoyed the routine of work, but it was a guilty pleasure, like masturbating while I should’ve been saving the world. Now, I stay late to finish reports and there’s no lost potential, no shame. You can’t shame the dead.

A SHORT STORY ABOUT THINGS LOST AND FOUND (PT2).

by MDY

I guess we both were too busy for each other. We never fought, not even at the end when she swept onto her jet and took off for Shanghai, and I left her parting gift under a seat on the 9.15 express home but ended up slinking back to claim it a month later. Except that first time, in the Maghreb…but a job is a job is a job. Be professional, until you can’t. I miss her like there’s a star dying in my heart. Every time I torch a ninja, I think of her and smile, because it’s too hot to cry.