the tamago report

Eggs benedictated

Tag: very short story

A VERY SHORT STORY ABOUT DATING.

by MDY

I don’t go dating anymore. The last date I went on, the girl brought this chainsaw with her in a Country Road sports bag. We had dinner at a smoke-churned ramen bar and watched “Guardians of the Galaxy”, but when I held her hand afterwards she tried to lop my head off then turned into an eagle and bailed on the East wind. I uninstalled Tinder after that.

A VERY SHORT STORY ABOUT SOCIAL ETIQUETTE AND FEMINISM.

by MDY

“Is it rude to bring a chainsaw on a date?” I asked Sasha one Friday night.

“I once went out with a vampire,” Sasha said, tying her antlers back, “and he tried to neck me before dessert. Nowadays I always pack a flashlight and a bayonet – you just gotta remember no man should control your life, and find a bag which fits.”